I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
