We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
how drunk are you?
Several
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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