"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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