i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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