I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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