shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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