just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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