no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
