I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
