My room smells like vodka and shame
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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