We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
