I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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