dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
