She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
