How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
