Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
