i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
