I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize