Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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