I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
