question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
