could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
