i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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