so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
