I could have mohawked her pubes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
