I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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