can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
