And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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