In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
