so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
