So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
