Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
