I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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