Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
