I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
