What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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