After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
