i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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