me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
