; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
