Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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