Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drake has all the answers
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
