This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
