ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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