Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
