Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
