There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
