I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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