I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
