i think my mom watched the whole time
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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