I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
