Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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