You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
