you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
