Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
