scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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