He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
