we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize