Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
