I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
