You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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